I Survived My Teenage Life without Friends

"How do you make friends?" When I was a teenager, this was a question that I had asked myself every single day. I was quite the introverted type, a bit shy and as a result rather quiet. I find it hard to start a conversation with strangers or acquaintances, simply because I just don't know what to talk about with them. Should I talk about last night's episode of Breaking Bad that I watched? Or the latest chapter of One Piece that just came out two days ago? Ah, they might not know those series. Maybe I should ask who their favourite band or singer is? But I might not know who they are! What should I do?! ASFGHJKL!!!!

When I do have something to say and have gathered enough guts to start a conversation, either the other party is uninterested or we couldn't keep the conversation going for long. It makes the next opportunity for a conversation even more awkward.

It's very hard for me to adapt to a new environment. Making friends was a challenge that I had to face every single day, until I'm too tired to make friends, or everyone else has found a friend of their own that I'm no longer needed. In the end, I just become that friendless person in class, who eventually gets bullied for no reason.

Or I guess, it's because nobody's there to defend me. Nobody has a reason to be on my side. They don't even know me well enough. Why should they tell others to stop bullying me? Of course, since they see no point in doing it, they won't defend me. Who am I after all to get pitied by them? Sure, there are a few people with hearts who at least don't actively participate in bullying me. However, these bystanders are in the wrong too, because they didn't stop the bullying. They knew I was suffering but didn't do anything about it. Why?

The Cause

Why do these people not stop others from bullying me? I reckon there could be a few possible reasons behind it:

1. They don't see any benefit that they would gain from helping me.
2. They want to help deep in their hearts but they are afraid that others would start bullying them, or don't wanna be friends with them anymore because they're friends with the one who's always bullied.
3. They like seeing other people suffer. 

Well, which one is it?

I believe it's mostly (2). Those who have this reason are normally the kind-hearted ones, but because they don't want to be left out, they have no choice but to follow the others. Teenagers are scared of being alone, including myself back then of course. Teenagers need a sense of social security i.e. having friends they could spend lunch breaks with, go to the toilet with, do group works with.

Let's admit it, nobody wants to be alone. It isn't a nice feeling when you sit by yourself in the school cafeteria while other tables are full, and chairs that were meant for your table are pulled out by people who want to join other tables that are too full. It isn't a nice feeling when other girls are going to the toilet together but nobody wants to go with you (although to be honest, why would you need someone to accompany you to pee?! Or even worse, when you need to take a shit?!). It definitely isn't a nice feeling when you are the only one who doesn't have a group partner, or when the teacher picks you to be a group leader but nobody wants to join your group. It isn't a nice feeling, is it?

Reason (1) is for the selfish ones. They don't want to do it because they don't gain anything from it, although it clearly benefits and saves others. They are indifferent to how others feel, as long as they live happily. I hate this kind of people but let's face it, everyone (including me) has felt like this at some point in their life. Remember the last time you saw a beggar and ignored them? You know how many people die every day because there is no available blood for transfusion? That's right, it is the same feeling as not helping a person that's being bullied. The problem occurred not because of you, but you can do something to help. It's a difficult decision, isn't it?

In reality, however harsh it may sound, the people of type (3) also exist. They too have a reason behind this attitude. A common reason would be a dysfunctional family. When they don't feel happy at home and don't have the power to fight back, teenagers tend to take out their anger elsewhere. Yes it could be torturing their schoolmates in return, physically or emotionally. This is the most dangerous type of person in my opinion because if they have enough friends who agree with them, it might start a terrible case of bullying and they will be hard to stop.

Let's Take a Step Back

It seems to me that bullying may start not because the victim has done anything wrong. It might just be because the main culprit wants to find someone to unleash their negative feelings at, and everyone else has no choice but to join them in order to get social security, or simply doesn't care enough to help. If you happen to be the lucky (or actually, really unlucky) one, then that's what you get. Bullying. 

Nevertheless, it is not safe to assume that it is entirely not your fault. I used to think that I didn't deserve to be bullied because I hadn't done anything wrong to them. They like to call others names, hit their friends, yell at them, but I? I had never done anything as rude as that! But why was I the bullied one? Why did being nice make me get bullied?! It made no utter sense to me at all; and all I wanted to do was kill myself. However, that was completely wrong thinking. 

Why were they able to call one another names, hit them and yell at them, while still being friends? I think it's because that's what it means to become friends. Real friends.

It means they could be their true selves in front of one another and still enjoy the others' company. It also means they could hurt others physically or emotionally and still laugh about it. It doesn't mean acting nicely with one another. That's just fooling your friends and fooling yourself (unless of course you actually are that nice). It is this freedom to show your true self to others that makes people start knowing you and want to be friends with you.

Remember that you are not perfect. Thinking back about it, I guess I was not very friendly and rarely smiled back then. Maybe a bit nosy and annoying too. :) 

Prevention is Better than Cure

So what can you do if you get bullied? Even better, how can you prevent it?

1. Get HELP!

(Photo: juanst.com)

Tell a teacher or the school counselor, and your parents. They need to know that you are being bullied. Even if it makes you feel embarrassed, trust me, it helps tremendously just to share your problems with someone else. Someone you can trust, and preferably someone who can help, like your school counselor.

True, it might not always work. If your bullies find out you have been seeing the school counselor, they might guess that you are reporting them and they might bully you even more harshly. Those types of teenagers are very difficult to deal with, so even the counselors might not be able to solve your problem. However, seriously, just talking to someone helps lift up your burden.

Your parents also need to know if you are bullied because they love you (even if you don't think so) and they hate seeing you tortured like that. You will then realise how much they love you, and that feeling alone makes you forget all your problems. :)

2. Make friends

(Photo: grammarly.com)

As if it isn't obvious enough, make friends. Preferably a classmate, although you should make friends across the school too. This is very hard for some people, but if you don't try then you can't expect friends to just fall from heaven (although some people really do! ^_^). Try to join others in their conversation and the honest ones might be nice to you. Start from there and keep making more friends. Be tough and confident! No person deserves to get bullied no matter what they are like, and every single person has a positive side no matter how bad they might seem. 

3. Reflect upon your own attitudes

(Photo: ordiate.com)

It is inevitable that everyone has done something bad in their entire life, whether they realise it or not, intentionally or not. You won't know how bad your own attitude or personality is until you see it on someone else.

Ever seen that annoying car or person who drove or walked very slowly in the middle of the street, taking over the whole street and not allowing anyone else to pass? You might have done that too, you know. Ever thought that person's laugh or walk was hilarious? Or that girl's face that's full of pimples grossed you out? You are not perfect either, you know. Ever been told a joke that really hurts? You might have hurt someone else too, you know.

Self introspection is very important. It is a process that takes time, but taking the first step is key, and it is realising that you yourself are not perfect.

4. Spend your time doing other things that you enjoy

(Photo: thinglink.com)

Keep yourself busy doing other things so you won't think about it too much. Do your hobbies, or find a new hobby! You never know what you enjoy if you don't try. There are very many things in life to explore and do than just making friends in school. It is important to develop various skills when you are young. Who knows when you'll need them in the future? These are a lot more beneficial than thinking about those stupid bullies!

5. Just don't think about it

(Photo: totalawake.com)

Sure, it is really very hard to not think about something that really hurt and shook your mind. However, if you try and think positively about it, it actually helps ease your mind. If you keep thinking about hatred, your mind is focused on that and only that, and it is only going to make you feel worse. Remember, what doesn't kill you make you stronger. When you become an adult or hop to the next stage of maturity, you will realise that this actually is really true and happens in life. What hit you the hardest becomes your source of strength. If you survive this, you will look back on it and realise how much you have learnt from that experience alone. 

6. It gets better. It really does.

(Photo: dreamatico.com)

Trust me, it really will get better over time. I used to not trust this. I thought my life would always be terrible, full of hatred and without friends. However, as I moved on with my life, it actually, really got better. The people around me are more mature (though some of them might take a little more time) and hopefully nicer. Moving to a new environment really helps as well because there will be different kinds of people, and hopefully this time there are people whom you can build a good chemistry with! Moving on even further in life, making friends will get very different and you will later realise that getting bullied in one environment does NOT mean you will never escape from it! It gets better. Be optimistic for once! :)

If You Are an Adult

Reading people's mind is not the easiest thing on earth, but take a second to look into their eyes and think about whether they are happy. Teenage stage is difficult for adults to cope with, but it is an important stage for your children and they need you to help! Remember, the environment a person lives in shapes their behaviour. Play a part and save your children!

Final Words

Dear teenagers, bullying is certainly a tough problem. Not everyone can deal with it, and if they don't get the right treatment from others (for example their family) the worst can come to worst. What I know for sure is, it's not something worth killing yourself for.

YOU can save your own selves. Many people and I have survived it. Could you?

P.S. If you would like to add something or share your views, please write in the comment box below! I would greatly appreciate your input.

STOP bullying. Don't be a bystander! Because nobody deserves to get bullied.

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The Story of Teddy Stoddard (Fiction) by Elizabeth Silance Ballard

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

***The End***

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? Just "do it".

Random acts of kindness, I think they call it?

"Believe in Angels, then return the favour."

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12 Kostum Unik dan Seksi Lady Gaga di The Simpsons

Oke, untuk merayakan kembalinya blog ini berjalan, saya sudah tidak sabar ingin menulis di blog ini. Namun, apa daya saya tak mampu. Masih ada dua ujian lagi besok sama lusa. Mudah-mudahan saya bisa lanjut posting seusai ujian ya.

Untuk mengurangi kekecewaan para followers, dan karena saya juga udah pengen banget bikin post di blog ini, saya pengen re-post sebuah thread yang pernah saya buat di Kaskus tapi tanggapannya kurang banyak. Memang kurang banyak penjelasan di post saya itu, jadi kali ini ingin saya tambahkan. Enjoy deh postingannya!

---

Teman-teman pasti tau kan sama kartun The Simpsons? Kalian pasti juga tau kan sama penyanyi ternama Lady Gaga? Apa yang terjadi kalau Lady Gaga muncul sebagai karakter di The Simpsons?

CERITANYA

Di The Simpsons season 23 episode 22, Lady Gaga lagi naik kereta pribadinya menuju konser, melewati Springfield. Terus menurut dia kota Springfield itu madesu abis, makanya dia memutuskan mampir di sana dulu untuk menghibur penduduk Springfield. Kebetulan si Lisa Simpson lagi dibully sama temen2 sekolahnya, jadi si Gaga mencoba untuk menghibur Lisa padahal Lisa gak demen sama Lady Gaga. Jadi akhirnya Lisa marah2 ke Gaga dan merasa lega. Tapi ternyata si Gaga sakit hati dan mau langsung cabut dari Springfield. Lisa akhirnya menyadari kesalahannya, minta maaf dan berterima kasih ke Gaga dan mereka nyanyi bareng di hadapan kota Springfield.

Nah, dalam episode yang berjudul "Lisa Goes Gaga" ini, Lady Gaga mengenakan bermacam-macam kostum yang unik dan gila, seperti kostum2 yang dia pakai di konsernya di dunia nyata. Yuk langsung aja cekidot guys!

1. Kostum Emas

Yang ini masih normal kok. Jas panjang berwarna emas dan rok semi-transparan cocok banget buat penampilan Gaga. Apalagi rambutnya dikuncir!

2. Kostum "Hidup"

Awalnya saya gak tau ini kostum apaan, tapi ternyata kostum ini sering dipakai Gaga di dunia nyata lho. Kabarnya sih, kostum ini bisa buka-tutup kayak kipas. Keren juga ya!

3. Kostum Terompet

Apa gak berat tuh non? Berapa biji terompet ya yang ada di kostum ini? 

4. Kostum Burung

Sekarang pertanyaannya ada berapa burung yang hinggap di kostum ini?? Kayaknya Gaga suka banget kostum yang isinya suatu barang aja. Bukan motif doang, tapi barang aslinya. Anyway, burung-burung di kostum ini beneran hidup lho! Pengen deh bisa terbang pakai kostum ini.

5. Kostum Daging

Jangan ketawa, kostum ini beneran pernah dipakai Gaga di dunia nyata lho! Ada yang mau makan dagingnya? Homer aja berani manggang salah satu daging dari kostum Gaga buat dia makan.

6. Kostum Torpedo Bra

Bra Gaga mirip cone es krim...tapi dari besi. Ya, inilah kostum torpedo bra milik Gaga yang bisa menyemburkan api. Ned Flanders pernah jadi korban juga tuh. Tapi api lho yang disembur, bukan yang lain ya! Kalau yang lain, pasti banyak yang mau deh -__-"

7. Kostum Sepatu Zebra

Yang ini saya juga gak tau kostum apaan, tapi keren juga tuh sepatunya motif zebra. Tapi tinggi amat ya? Yang paling kanan itu, Gaga pakai sepatu heels di dalam sepatu heels. *inception* Saya sih takut jatuh kalau pake sepatu setinggi itu :P

8. Kostum Misterius

Saya gak ngerti ini kostum apa, tapi kok rasanya kayak dia pengen turun ke saluran air dan berburu hantu ya?

9. Kostum Tentara

Hormat, grak! Keren juga Gaga pakai kostum ini, meskipun saya gak yakin Gaga bisa jadi tentara yang kuat. Yang ada dia dance sama nyanyi pas disuruh perang.

10. Kostum Vampir

Hati-hati sama yang ini, apalagi kalau taringnya sudah keluar!

11. Kostum Manusia Serigala

Yang ini gak kalah seremnya. Makanya kalau sudah malam jangan berkeliaran dekat hutan, nanti dikejar lho!

12. Kostum Pita

Saya suka rambut Gaga di sini, dijadikan pita! Bajunya sih kurang kelihatan, abisnya ketutupan meja.

12. Kostum Nyentrik

Yang ini juga gak jelas kostum apa, tapi rambutnya nyentrik abis! Saya juga suka tiaranya hehe.

BONUS:

Maggie Simpson juga ikut2an jadi Baby GooGoo nih :P Siapa yang lebih keren?

Gimana guys? Paling suka kostum nomor berapa? Saya sih paling suka yang ada burungnya, no. 4. Si Maggie juga kocak abis :D Lady Gaga memang selalu unik gaya berpakaiannya. Semua kostum di atas terinspirasi dari kostum-kostum yang benar pernah dikenakan Gaga di dunia nyata lho!

Maaf ya Little Monsters kalau ada beberapa yang salah namanya. Komentar aja di bawah, nanti saya koreksi!

Segitu aja dari saya... Maaf kalau gak jelas postnya, beberapa memang terlalu artistik jadi saya gak ngerti!! :P Buat para fashion designer di luar sana, mudah-mudahan kostum2 ini bisa jadi inspirasi ya.

SUMBER

http://moresay.com/2012/05/recap-of-lady-gaga-outfits-on-the-season-finally-of-the-simpsons/ http://stylecaster.com/lady-gaga-outfits-the-simpsons-episode

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2141897/Lady-Gaga-visits-The-Simpsons-controversial-dress.html

Google Image

© 20th Century Fox Television

Sinopsisnya saya tulis sendiri, karena pernah nonton :)

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Suprise Surprise: UPDATE!

Hi everyone,

I know it's been years (literally) since I last posted anything on this blog.

It's probably because I have changed. From the me who thought blogging was cool (actually it was, at least at the time), to the me who thinks it's not necessary to share every little thing in life! I have learnt that posting too much on the social media could be annoying, and it feels better to share my stories with actual friends, so I get a reaction and could interact with people, compared to my blog posts that never get any comments (T_T).

So why did I come back? It was actually due to a simple matter. I just found a really good song by my favourite YouTube singer, Alex G, and I was looking for the lyrics to it. I found one, but it has a few mistakes (or so I think) and I couldn't edit it on that website, so I wanted to get a hold of my own version of it, while sharing it with others at the same time. That's when I remembered I had a blog!

I cleaned this blog up a bit, by hiding several posts that I don't want others to read anymore. I should also get a new template, but probably not now! Not now because I'm in the middle of exams.

That's right, people! I'm in the final year of my undergraduate study in Mathematics right now. Yes I understand if you're surprised because the last time I posted in this blog I was still in school. I finish my exams this Friday actually which means I'll be leaving uni soon! This blog is missing out. Also hopefully I will be continuing to a master's study in Computing Science this Autumn. :)

You may also be surprised my English has improved by a lot and my style of writing has changed. It's the effects of aging :P JK, I mean I have upgraded my maturity level. Hopefully if I could, I'll post more often. With quality this time!

Please click the follow button to be the first to know when I post something new!

Also spare your time to write in the comments box what you want me to write about, or what you think about this change.

Hopefully see you soon!

Cheers,

dessskris

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Alex G - Too Far (Lyrics)

I wonder how my life would be
If I had grown up by the sea
And lived a little
I wonder if my heart could grow
If the only love I know
Was all I needed

Sometimes I wish that I
Could fly away from here
‘Cause what if it all goes wrong?

Would it be bad if I drove too far
And forgot my way around?
Maybe my worry would disappear
If I’m nowhere to be found
So maybe I’ll drive too far

I wonder how my voice would sound
If it was in the background
No one heard it
I wonder how it feels to speak
Still be heard without the need
To be the loudest

Sometimes I wish that I
(Sometimes I wish that I)
Could fly away from here
(Could fly away from here)
‘Cause what if it all goes wrong?

Oh, my vision's blurry now
(My vision's blurry now)
I wish it all was clear
(I wish it all was clear)
Not knowing's killing me

Would it be bad if I drove too far
And forgot my way around?
Maybe my worry would disappear
If I’m nowhere to be found
So maybe I’ll drive too far

Sometimes I wish that I
Could fly away from here
What if it all goes wrong?
My vision's blurry now
(My vision's blurry all now)
I wish it all was clear
(I wish it all was clear)
Not knowing's killing me

Would it be bad if I drove too far
And forgot my way around?
Maybe my worry would disappear
If I’m nowhere to be found
And lived a little

Oh (Would it be bad if I drove too far)
Oh (Forgot my way around?)
Yeah, maybe my worry would disappear
(Maybe my worry would disappear)
If I’m nowhere to be found
(If I’m nowhere to be found)
So maybe I’ll drive too far
Maybe I’ll drive too far

ITUNES | http://bit.ly/TooFarSingle
YOUTUBE | https://www.youtube.com/user/AlexGMusic7
WEBSITE | http://www.OfficialAlexG.com
ALBUM | http://bit.ly/AlexGAlbum

(Please send corrections in the comments box)

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